A part of you has grown in me.
And so you see, its you and me
together forever and never apart.
Maybe right now in distance, but never in heart.
A part of you has grown in me.
You live life as if it is never going to end… You are constantly worried about different things in life….You procrastinate things in life thinking that I shall do it when I will have ample time…. But who is going to give us that time? We never ask this question to ourselves that what if that time will not come…
In short, we tend to forget that the only reality that exists is death……. We take time for granted very easily… We take moments in our life for granted….We take lovely people in our lives for granted…. We forget that this time, this moment, these people are never going to come back….
Then suddenly life has the capacity to break your slumber….. You suddenly wake up –bewildered!! You are out of your dream world…. You see that you are not the propeller of the boat of your life or for anybody’s life…. You are left with nothing but the ashes…
We are never mindful of the fact that the death is inevitable… Having said that I am not saying that this mindfulness will prepare you for the death (I have yet not reached that sort of phase)…. But I think the consciousness about death can make you live life better… It may help you to take out the precious moments of your life for your loved ones… It may help you to realise that life cannot be weighed in terms of materialistic success only…. It may help you to think that I have to do things ‘now’ as that tomorrow on which you are keeping all your hopes may not even come…
P.S. Uncle Dev….I hope you can read this where ever you are… I know you remember the wonderful time you have spent with us (how you would always appreciate me for my work… you and dad discussing your childhood antics and giving us the tips… discussions and conversations of all sorts.. and then you used to depart on your promise of visiting us next year…. and how it continued year after year…)…I might not have ever told you that I cherish all the memoirs that you have given me on all your visits…. It is again an irony that I thought that I will show it to you whenever we will meet again…I know you remember your promise that on your next visit you would treat us all… I may have got busy with my life and career…. but in this life time I can never forget you… You have such an overwhelming and magnetic aura…..Your conversations, your smile, your thoughts, your simplicity, your honesty, your magnanimity, your compassion are etched in my soul… I am blessed to have met you in this life… No words would suffice my regard for you… God bless you!! Amen!
I don’t have right to feel the way I want to.
I don’t have right to say what I want to.
I don’t have right to ask you that why don’t you let me the way I want to.
I don’t have right because I am supposed to be a puppet for you.
I don’t have right to question you.
I don’t have right to correct you.
I don’t have right to challenge your authority.
I don’t have right because I am supposed to be under your shadow.
I don’t have right to walk alone but only along with you.
I don’t have right to share myself with you because what exists is only you.
I don’t have right to rely on promises given by you.
I don’t have right to even love you.
I don’t have right to even feel the pain given by you.
I don’t have right to even betray you.
I don’t have right to even expect anything from you.
I don’t have right to even wait for you.
I don’t have right to even choose you.
I don’t have right because I am supposed to surrender to you.
I don’t have right to dream.
I don’t have right to demand anything.
I don’t have right to form opinions.
I don’t have right to live my life on my own terms.
I don’t have right to personal integrity and space.
I don’t have right because I am supposed to compromise.
I don’t have right to roam as freely as you.
I don’t have right to aim for the sky.
I don’t have right to have unlimited ambitions.
I don’t have right to nurture my interests.
I don’t have right to listen to my soul.
I don’t have right to tread my own path.
I don’t have right because I am supposed to look after others.
I don’t have right just because I live with you.
I don’t have right just because I am a part of society.
I don’t have right just because I am not supposed to doubt your experience.
I don’t have right just because I am the fairer sex.
I don’t have right just because my ‘only right’ is to exist for you.
KALKI KOECHLIN Who are we?
Hindustan Times (Delhi)
24 Apr 2012
We are ready for action, For tragedy, Atrocity, hostility And fashion. We are the impersonal. We are the people of the world The collective, The masses, The capitalistic, communal fascists, We are you. We love great films But do not live great lives….read more…
How far can you go? How far can you convince everybody? How far can you make everybody happy? How far can you kill your spirit in order to fulfill others wishes? How far can you push yourself as a person you are not but what everybody expects you to be? How far and for how long you will continue wearing this mask? How far can you continue nodding and agreeing to everything which you consider is really bullshit?
How far can you fight with the hollow rules of society (which can be bend based upon the stature you have in society)? How far can you fight with these selfish creatures around you (the word creatures is used because they cannot be called as human beings and calling them even animals would be an insult to animals as well)? How far can you bear their hypocrisies?
How far can you stop people from being mean and calculative? How far can you stop people from weighing relationships as just mere opportunities? How far can you convince people that relationships are not just business deals?
How far can you go to stop the world from measuring human emotions and values in terms of possession? How far can you go to stop the world from worshipping money? How far can you go to stop the trends of capitalism, materialism, insensitivity and lack of faith towards fellow beings?
How far can you go in this lone battle for justice and right to life? How far can you remain caged?
Really how far……………….???
The typical Indian mindset is to compromise for each and everything! Why? Because you are losing time….Whose time is it anyway? Yours or mine? And there goes the argument… generation gap, different thinking styles, immaturity and so on!
The volley of questions being thrown to us include: How do you know that what you are yearning for definitely come your way… Why do you want to loose opportunity at this stage… how are you so sure that you may not have to compromise in future??
I seriously have no answers to all these questions but instead I want to ask some questions… First of all about the perception of ‘right time’ which again is quite subjective? What do we mean by the importance of right time in our lives? Who decides that right time? Why have you divided the time of our lives into a series of milestones which have to be achieved at a particular age and that right time?
My next query is about grasping the next available thing because you cannot afford to waste time. True, with some matters you can take that risk but can you afford to apply this formula in all areas of your life especially in terms of relationships.
And most perturbing is the lack of trust and faith on fellow human beings which constantly instills fear and feelings of uncertainty… Are we going to loose out on something good due to our honesty? Are we being fooled by our fellow human beings? What if the other person breaks our trust? Why should I think with heart when the whole world believes in practicality and reason?
Finally, due to surmounting pressure, we have to compromise….. with our faith, belief, feelings, ideas and our very existence! I just wonder what sort of life we are expecting with this sort of compromise….
What an unusual topic for a person like me? Bang… I know! But for all those, who become really suspicious as to how come I am writing about dreams and love ;).. just read a quote by Paulo Coelho.. Dreams and love are just words – until you decide to experience them!
But my curiosity lies in the fact… as to how can you be so sure that whatever you are experiencing or perhaps you want to experience is indeed your very own dream! Dreams sometimes have the power to make us probably unrealistic… Having said that, I absolutely believe in the power of dreams and working towards them silently, carrying them in your eyes when you are actually awake and not just sleeping… so what I mean when I said dreams making us unrealistic is that dreams should not be equated with mere fantasies!
And about love.. gosh.. the most complicated thing in the world yet when you are in love things look simple and straightforward which I believe is sometimes not the reality. You want to run away from love and you run harder and harder thinking that you have to be really practical but in this whole cumbersome process you won’t even realise when has the cupid struck!!
As soon as you realise that there is something fishy (feeling of love) going on within you.. (hint: you would feel completely whacky ;)) … you suddenly start becoming protective about yourself and your love…you want your efforts to give instant results… you are totally consumed by the feeling that is it worth my efforts and attention… you want to trust you intuition but you are just too fearful to do so…you become calculative as to how to achieve your love…you become closed.. afraid of your heart being broken! It would become all the more difficult to maintain equanimity for all those who feel that their love is probably one-sided and may never get reciprocated…. and along LOVE comes the great GLOOMINESS!!
Now, comes the situation when your dreams and love do not meet your expectations… the common reaction would be the displacement reaction…. on some external agencies….
But why not take charge of the situation on your shoulders…. make efforts for your dreams or love even if you see no results in stages of infancy.. give it your best shot and still if it does not work out.. do not blame yourself. The common feeling would be.. Oh!! I knew it won’t turn out well, only I realised it later.. I am so stupid, I was blind.. blah blah.. so it’s really okay if did not turn out well but at least you will not have the guilt of not giving it a shot!
I feel that the connecting link between dreams and love is faith…..faith that whatever happens, happens not just for the good…but it surely makes sense in the future which we are not able to realise right now…