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Darkness is engulfing me or

Am I engulfing darkness

Darkness of words

Darkness of thoughts

Darkness of broken promises

Darkness of dishonour

Darkness of heartbreak

Darkness of rigidity

Is there any light in this darkness?

Is there any hope of survival in this darkness?

Yes, if I accept this darkness to be a boon..

But, what if I say NO!

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Redefining parenting

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Are we parenting gender roles in our children?

A BBC story video prompted me to deeply analyse this question- ‘Are we sure we don’t gender stereotypes the upbringing of our children?’ The video titled ‘ Gender stereotypes toys: an experiment, showed an experiment where toddler boys and girls were dressed up as opposite genders and their care takers were hidden of their identities. The responses of care takers were seen as being biased with those handling boys pushing them towards robotics and puzzle related toys and those handling girls gave them dolls and more soft toys. When the care takers were informed with the real identities of children, they were surprised at their own responses and to some extent even accepted that subconsciously they do have biases in their minds.

The fabric of our society in woven in such a manner that men and women are interdependent on each other, with men being portrayed as the bread winner of family and the women fulfilling the role of being nurturer at home. This type of set up of our society, to some extent, has been supported by the biological roles bestowed upon by nature as well. In prehistoric times as well, the woman being the one giving birth to child, needed to be at home for their care, while then men chose to go out to arrange food for family. As our society progressed, the roles of men and women were demarcated clearly, with men working outside home and women being assigned homely duties. The attributes of being men were portrayed as being strong, competitive, logical, not-so-emotional and females being more of fragile, emotional and not-so-competitive.

Come to 21st century, we no longer have these roles strictly demarcated. Though, in my view, it is completely fine if a couple demarcates their duties at personal level. The boundaries sepcifying roles of genders have diluted due to education and opportunities, but have we been fully successful in bursting this ‘gender bias’ bubble. Still, we role- model daddies being stronger then mommies. Still we say boys don’t cry. Still we say that girls should learn cooking. Still we say boys are better suited than girls being engineers or astronauts. Still we don’t raise an eye brow if we see a boy hanging around at midnight but would make a hullabaloo if we say a girl out at the same time. Still we say it’s okayish for boys to be angry and violent but girls need to be soft all the times. And finally, still we sterotype those men in our society who are ready to walk hand in hand with females, not a one step and not even one step behind, but partners and true associates in everything they do!

Why can’t we tell our children that it’s okay even if daddies chose to stay at home, or if mommy is at home to take care of them, it is not because she can’t work outside but because of the mutual agreement between mommy and daddy. Don’t shy away as a parent if your young boy wants to play with kitchen set or if your young girls refuses to play with dolls and wants a car instead. Don’t shy away if your boy wants to be poet, writer or an artist and your girls wants to be a physicist or mathematician.

Why don’t we let our young boys and girls choose a path for themselves, and stop indoctrination of age-old gender roles!

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Child-centered education.. reality or myth?

We have always been debating on different methods of pedagogy. Of late child-centered activity based learning methods (by John Dewey) have been priortised for the best learning, in which child is kept at the centre of activity, meaning he is the code and he is learning through his own observations rather than feeding something in his mind through lectures or spoon-feeding.

Nevertheless we are still far from really getting into a child’s shoes due to confines of curriculum and set patterns. As educators we are designing activities in such a way that they adhere to curriculum topics only and there is a definite result of the activity. Mind it we are not letting the child to make discovery through this method. Where are we tickling their minds and giving them scope to make mistakes and repeat their experiments again and again. In sort there is no real research based learning involved.
On the other hand we are still labelling children as  hyperactive and slow learners due to a perceived notion that they are deviations from normal. By saying so we are actually shrugging off our duties as educators because they simply dont fit into our system.Time and again there are debates surrounding the very much hyped ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) as a myth. ‚ÄčThere have been innumerable examples now that these so-called labelled children have excelled far better than others with customised teaching methods, constant support and motivation. These kind of children have actually proven to be out-of-the box thinkers and have been achievers in real life world. How far is it really justified to teach what we want to teach and then on other hand ironically we want our children to be critical-thinkers??

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Truth and lies??

What is truth and what is a lie is again a very intriguing question circling our lives.. It again is a very contextual and circumstantial question.. Absolute truth, absolute lie, half truth and similarly half lie..these are the everyday dilemmas we have to face in our lives..

Life is such a whirlwind that what seems like truth at one point of time to oneself, becomes so obsolete after a while. And what seems like truth to one person may be absolute lie for another person. And as we change the time frame, perceptions becomes realities, so does the definition of truth and lies. The problem arises when you have to deal with the situations (in terms of circumstances and people) ‚Äčthat come up with these changing definitions of truth and lie.

So the question again is what is truth and what is lie? How can you decide the difference between the two and take the correct path? How are you going to stick to the decisions that you are going to take now in future based on what is truth now? How are you going to deal with your decisions if this truth turns out to be false after a while?

All these questions surrounding life are such a cobweb that there is no absolute answer to these like there is no absolute truth in life.. whenever in doubt, just close your eyes, trust on yourself, trust on god, and trust on karmas, universe will surely be answering some questions!!

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Stuck In Reverse

Glooming skies

Barren land

Distant light

Weeping eyes

Frozen jaw

Stuck in reverse

Nobody can hear you

You can’t hear anybody

Everybody around you

But no one near

No words

Words are not enough

Stuck in reverse

Blaming eyes

Bitter truths

Fixed notions

Frozen ideas

Encaged conventions

Fighting odds

All alone

Stuck in reverse


Shun the mask

Becoming yourself

Rising horizons

Thats your aim

Move ahead

Reach out to universe

You are your reason

Don’t you get,

Stuck in reverse

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